I’m not going to be the first person to pick up that stone and throw it. I’ve been around sports for many moons. I was a competitive person in my days, but never thought of the example I was setting to the young kids. Over the years I’ve learned that some kids don’t listen to the lectures we give them. What does happen is that they see with their own eyes the example that the adults display during a game. I’ve heard most of them, “Go back to ref school you idiot!” Who’s really the idiot here? “Are you kidding, my grandma can ref better than you!” Really? … my grandma could not see very well or walk without assistance. “Come on stripes what game are you watching!” Well, obviously the same game you are.
Just recently I read about two high school kids spearing a referee from his blindside during a football game. Another incident I've read about was a parent stepping onto the football field and preventing a child from scoring a touchdown. In one basketball game a parent jumped off the bleachers to attack a young kid after he scored the winning basket. This was all due to some bad calls the referees made. Sometimes winning is so important to the parent that it leads to temper issues and out-of-control situations. If you as a parent ever reach this level, please seek counseling because I feel that there are other serious issues in your life.
In my opinion, competitive people that want to win so bad need to draw the line. Maybe what we need to do is start letting the referees do their job. It’s tough enough officiating a close game without the fans' distraction. I keep thinking what it would have been like when I was a software engineer. Someone at my throat constantly – my job would not get done.
We as parents also need to stop living our dreams through our kids. Allow them to discover what they enjoy and support them on it. Help them set objectives to eventually reach a goal in their near future.
I also feel like parents that get involved in sports should make an effort to look at sports in positive ways that are enjoyable, rewarding, and fun. That's why the majority of kids go out for sports ... to have fun! Focus more on the skill-development aspect of your child and discuss the improvements they are making every game. Talk about the great things they did in a game and then bring up the skills they could improve on. Talk to them about helping their teammates.
“You forgot to read the rule book you zebra!” Well, zebras don’t read books. “How much did they pay you ref – I’ll double it!” I’ll be the first to admit I wouldn’t want to pay a referee double what they make, even if it’s the opponent paying him. “Hey ref, did you come from the blind school!” The comments seem to start getting lower every time, I mean really, to include a blind school? In reality the complaints against calls made will not help at all. The only thing it could do is flare up the officials and help your team earn more bad calls. In addition, your child will see your example and fulfill the same thing in the future.
Being a good sport isn’t just about controlling our tempers with officials, but it’s also about thinking of other players on the team and not just your own son or daughter. Cheer for every player on the team – football and basketball are team sports not individual sports. Every kid on that team has put in hours of practice all week long – they’ve helped the team get better. Try your best not to gossip to other parents about why your son or daughter isn’t playing – don't make assumptions. If you have an issue with that, ask your son or daughter if you can set up a meeting with the coach. The coach will inform you of what skills your child needs to work on to contribute more in a game. Then, follow through and encourage your child to practice everyday – hard work pays off.
We’re not perfect, we’re only human. But it’s important that we try our best to set a good example for our younger generation – Lord knows this world really needs it. Sports seasons are supposed to be fun and exciting – although we all want to win, the reality is that one team will end up losing after the game is over.
Go out and support your local high school or college team. Buy refreshments to help the booster clubs – you can’t watch a game without food … or at least I can’t.
I feel that one of the most important things a parent can do is “listen” to your son or daughter. Ask them if they are having fun and if they aren’t having fun, ask them how you can help.
Have a fun and rewarding experience with sports this season, I wish every parent and child the best. God bless.