In the first race of the summer she was one of the top five finishers in the women's 30-39 age group. Her time was 15:29 -- not too bad for the first time competing after all she'd been through. The following week Candi continued to train hard and after the second 3K run she had improved her time dropping it to 15:20 and again finishing in the top five. Candi was motivated and inspired by all of the other runners that could sprint the 3K. The third run was coming up the next Thursday. Candi was striving to break 15:00. After the run was over she fell short running 15:14. That didn't discourage her at all, it just made her train harder the next week. I would run with her to set a faster pace -- this helped her tremendously.
The final 3K race for the summer had arrived in the 1992 Cross Country Championships. First, second, and third would receive trophies in each age group. Needless to say, I did not place in my age group, but wow, what an amazing race Candi had.
1992 Candi is getting ready to run the 3000 meters at Bush Pasture Park.
I had not even thought about her fighting brain cancer. We even started having small arguments like old times. Candi's life was beginning to get back to normal and I was very proud to be her husband and to see all of her accomplishments.
The championship race for her age group was finally about to get started. I was at the starting line yelling at Candi with our two boys. I yelled, "You can do it!" Jake yelled, "Good luck, Mom!" Matt just watched and smiled. As the gun went off Candi made a fast dash at the beginning of the race running at a good pace. She slowed down a little in-between to finish strong. At the end of the race she was cruising down the stretch. I was looking at the clock and yelled at Candi, "14:42 .... 14:43 ... 14:44!" Candi heard me and kicked as hard as she could. She placed second, winning a trophy, and broke 15:00 with a time of 14:49. In 1992 at the age of 31, Candi was a true champion in more ways than one.
A few months later Candi started having seizures once a month. We returned to the doctor. She received an MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging). The cancer was back. She was scheduled for a second surgery soon after that. The entire world collapsed on us. After she recovered from surgery for the second time, Salem Hospital could not help us anymore. She was referred to OHSU (Oregon Health Science University). This hospital is in Portland, Oregon. We were told it had the best brain cancer treatment program in the nation. Candi wanted to fight this thing doing anything it took to survive. She wanted to live so bad and to continue being a daughter, mom, and wife. She had just started taking classes at Chemeketa Community College to eventually become an elementary teacher -- she loved kids.
She wanted so much to watch her two boys grow up. She dreamed of watching them play basketball in high school and in college. It tore her heart up and she was very depressed. I remember her words, "David, this isn't fair, I don't want to leave my two boys." I had no words, I just held her and told her how much I loved her and that I didn't understand why this was happening to us. We continued to pray every night for her health and a possible miracle-cure in the near future.
There is so much that went on during her last two years. I'm not going to write about her second brain surgery, or her last year of more intensive chemotherapy treatment at OHSU -- it would be too painful for me. But I do want to say this, Candi allowed doctors to try a couple of experimental drugs on her. This would help other patients with treatments if successful. The purpose of the medicine was to reproduce white and red blood cells for enduring treatments. She was one of the first patients to try that medicine. It was successful and now many people are taking that medication through their treatments -- lives are being saved. Praise God for that.
The sacrifices she made as a mother of two boys while battling this horrible illness was a true inspiration for me. She taught me so much about loving our kids. How to feed them, help them keep up on homework, get involved with school activities, attend church and Bible reading, take them to doctor appointments, etc. She enjoyed watching her boys play basketball or whatever activity was at stake. She was what I call an amazing mom -- there are many of you out there now, and we need more. Mother's Day is a day of honoring mothers like Candi. It's a very tough job but very rewarding at the same time.
When we received the news that Candi had three months to live, it hit me hard. Many family members were saddened and it was a very difficult time in our lives. I was blessed to have had the opportunity to listen to Candi. She shared many things with me, some that are very private and some that I will share with you.
Candi had three months left, she requested this picture of her and the boys.
Candi said. "David, please take care of our two boys -- they are precious to me. Some day they will both be married and have kids of their own." She started crying and continued, "Jacob is so talented and tall, Matthew is always trying to keep up with his older brother. He works so hard to be like his older brother. One day he will be able to compete with Jacob -- he'll catch up to him. I love my boys so much it hurts me -- this isn't fair. Jacob is going to be fine, but please encourage Matthew. I'm going to be with Jesus soon."
What does a dad do when his oldest child comes up to him and says, "Dad, is mom going to die?" That was very difficult for me ... to talk to my kids about what was happening.
The caring-mom nature she had was truly remarkable. She began to plan for many things. She would write notes and leave them in different places for me to find. She even left two notes in a box that we kept for our kids' memories. One note was for Matt and one for Jake. She knew her kids well and she raised them properly while I was at work.
Her thirteen years of being my wife was a love that not many people have -- we were so in love and we shared two wonderful boys together -- did everything with them. We were there with her until her last breath. I thought I knew how it was going to feel when she passed, but I had no clue until it actually happened. In January of 1994, Candi went to be with our Lord Jesus Christ. She was thirty-two years old. Matt was nine and Jake was eleven.
I do want to say thank you to a few special people that helped me with my two boys tremendously when I really needed it, Jesus Christ (God), Elaine Cover (Candi's mom), Richard and Julie Espinoza (brother and sister-in-law), Kelly Ward/Ferber (my sister-in-law), and Sheri Hall (neighbor on Strawberry Ct.). I'll always be thankful to you for the extra help you provided. I know it was a small disruption from your family -- you displayed "love" in every way.
I think about how very temporary this world is and then I think about eternity. Everlasting life in heaven is what Candi is experiencing now. One day we will see her again. She has no more pain, she has no more sadness, she has everlasting life in paradise. That to me is a celebration. I also think about how proud Candi would have been of our two boys and the fine young men they have become.
When a door is closed in this temporary world, it's terrible -- painful and not fair. The good Lord opens another door when we least expect it. I'm currently married to a wonderful lady, Loni, she has two daughters, Kalin and Darci (they both have families). I gained two talented and beautiful stepdaughters and a wife. We now have six grandkids from both sides, and, my marriage with Loni is growing stronger every year. I'm blessed to have had the opportunity to love twice in my lifetime. After a few years of adjustment, Loni has put a smile on my face that will continue for the rest of my life.
Mother's Day and May 11th are the hardest times of the year for me. My heart is glued together with two beautiful women ... one that I think about from the past -- what would she be like around her grandkids, or seeing her boys succeed in life in so many areas? And the other I think about, is the one that now brings a smile to my face everyday and that I'm learning so many things from presently. Even though this time of the year is tough for me, it's still a day that I cherish. Mother's Day is a day that really should be a paid holiday. Only good mothers know what it truly means to be a mother -- they experience it all, we just get a glimpse of it.
Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers out there that sacrifice for their kids and that show them love through actions. I appreciate all of you.
RIP Candi, 1961-1994, In memory -- may we meet again one day in heaven.