I had my hands full with Matt and Jake. They were good kids but still very young and really didn't know what was going on. Actually, I really felt they were the biggest boost of support for Candi and myself. Jake was sad, he understood that mommy had something in her head that had to come out in order for her to get well and come home again. At four years old, I remember him telling Candi, "God will help you Mom, you'll see." Matt was too young to know what was going on. In any event, they both kept me busy enough that it created unbelievable support in making it through all of the stress and emotional turmoil.
Candi loved watching me pull the kids in a homemade sled.
Surgery day finally arrived, it was during the month of February 1987 that Candi leaned back on the hospital bed while they prepared her for surgery. The kids and myself were next to her along with her parents and other family members. I thought to myself, this could be the last time I would talk to her, but my heart kept saying she would make it and she will recover, please God give her the strength to survive this operation.
As I looked into her beautiful light-brown eyes, I told her how much I loved her and that I would be waiting for her after the surgery. Candi was in tears and she said, "I love you to, David, and all of you too." She turned her head and looked at everyone in the room, "I keep thinking of that song that says, there are angels all around me." Candi looked very nervous and scared. As they wheeled the hospital bed away, I waved at her and smiled, she waved back wiping the tears from her eyes. My two little guys waved at their mommy as well. Candi and I both questioned ourselves that night, is this really happening to us?
I had never felt so helpless and so downhearted in my life. I took my two boys back to my brother, Richard's house. My sister-in-law, Julie, was so supportive -- watching my kids when I needed it -- so thankful for her. I then drove back to the hospital and waited in the lobby area. The surgeon had told me that he would call me as soon as he was done with the operation.
Candi's parents, Joe and Elaine, were in the lobby area waiting just as I was. They were really concerned. Never had I seen my mother-in-law crochet as fast as she was that day. She must have completed an entire blanket during Candi's operation. We kept looking at our watches in silence.
Meanwhile, in the operation room, Candi's surgery was finally happening. The doctor described the procedure to me but I won't get too detailed with you -- just a brief summary. Candi was given anesthesia and all the necessary medical equipment hooked up to her. Once the procedure began, there was an incision made on her hairline above the forehead. Next, the flesh covering the skull was flapped back. Now the doctor was ready to drill four holes -- kind of like setting up a square. Once the holes were drilled in each corner a saw blade was used to cut the skull from hole to hole. Finally, the tumor, which was described as a white mass the size of a golf ball was carefully removed. The surgeon didn't remove all of the tumor tissue due to delicate brain organs that could be harmed.
The operation took three and a half hours and there was no blood transfusion needed, thank God. When the doctor called me, I answered the phone located in the lobby area. I was relieved to hear that Candi was strong and made it through the operation. I had never prayed before as much as I did at the lobby. I wanted to see Candi but I couldn't. The doctor said it would be a few hours before the anesthesia wore off.
When I had the green light to see her, I walked into the intensive care unit where Candi was placed. She had her eyes closed lying flat on her back with a huge turban-like wrapping around her head. I slowly walked up to her and said, "Hi." My tears slowly started running down my face. I wanted her to feel at ease so I asked her in a whisper, "Can you name your husband and your two boys?" She moved her head a little bit but not much and responded with a whisper, "David, Jacob, Matthew." My heart jumped for joy at that moment -- I knew her memory was still there.
The surgeon told me that she had a good chance to recover and that they needed to take a piece of the tumor to pathology to find out if it was malignant (cancerous). He said not to worry because even if it was cancer, there would be a plan for treatment. I didn't know what to say -- I was in a bit of a shock. The days went by fast as Candi continued to recover from brain surgery.
The days were long for me and busy. I tried to spend as much time as I could at the hospital, but with two kids it was difficult. I started realizing how tough it was to do Candi's job as a stay-at-home mom -- I struggled in that department. I had so much to learn while my wife was in the hospital. I won't even mention the long list, you moms know what I'm talking about. My day-job manager was very supportive and I was blessed to have sick leave saved up. I'm so thankful to my family members that helped me out in many ways.
After several days Candi was up taking walks in the hospital hallway. In eight days she was back home. Now all we had to do is wait for the results from pathology. Was it cancer or was it just a benign cyst? The doctor called and wanted to talk to me alone. We all went to the hospital since it was the same day the staples from Candi's forehead were being removed. As they were doing that in a room, the doctor showed up and pulled me out of the room away from everyone else. He looked at me with a serious look in his eyes and whispered, "It's malignant." I felt like crying followed by an awful feeling all over my body, like a big truck had just hit me. My heart sunk very low.
Dr. Buza followed those words with some encouragement. I remember him saying, "She's young, healthy, and strong. She has a chance to beat this. With treatment and today's technology, there's hope." That made me feel a little better.
I went back to tell Candi the bad news and immediately followed with the good news of treatment and what the doctor explained. Candi was silent and really didn't know what to say. She felt very tired and weak. We immediately scheduled appointments with the radiation physician, the chemotherapy physician, and the neurosurgeon.
--- To be continued in part III ---